I started this as a way to get my art pieces onto Pinterest but I've decided to use it as a journal of sorts.  I've been a caregiver for 15 years now and it's taken its toll.  There are days when I feel like I couldn't tell you my own name anymore because my whole life seems to be wrapped up in others to the extent that I think I've lost myself.  Caring for Mom was easier because I shared the load with Dad and, at the end, Little Brother joined us to help her on her way.  This time is much harder.  When I came home it was just with the intention of helping Dad take care of Mom.  I never thought beyond her passing.  When she was gone I suddenly realized the journey wasn't over.  Originally I thought God wanted me here for Mom's care but now I believe that was just an added bonus or honor.  I believe He brought me back here because Dad was going to need care and He entrusted me with that privilege.  I hope I can fulfill those wishes.

There are days when I feel like I'm fraying at the seams, if that makes sense.  It's like little bits and pieces are getting worn off on the way and, when Dad's gone, there won't be enough left of me to do anything more with.  When he's having a bad stretch (like the last 2 days) I am so tired and drained that I just want to cry but I feel like if I start I won't be able to stop.